70 Funny Cleaning Quotes, Sayings, & Memes

“My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed party so I invited all her friends over and made them clean the house.”

“You know you’re an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.”

“I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.” – Joan Rivers

“I had to clean my house for two hours just to tell guests, “Sorry about the mess.”

“Excuse the mess, but we live here.” – Roseanna Barr

“Yes! got my dishes done. Meanwhile in the living room!!”

“When you just finished cleaning the house and someone comes in throwing all their stuff around.”

“Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?” – Phyllis Diller

“Wife says i never clean up. Hasn’t noticed I always pee on the poop stains.”

“I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.” – Shirley Conran

“A clean room is a sign of a broken computer.”

“You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.” – Cecil Baxter

“I don’t care about Disney lying about my prince charming. I’m more upset about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.”

“My room was clean but then I had to decide what to wear.”

“I just finished cleaning the house. Nobody touch anything for the next week.”

“Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.” – P.J. O’Rourke

“Cleaning the house fascinates everyone in my family… They can sit and watch me for hours!!!”

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?” – Erma Bombeck

“I get more cleaning done in the 10 minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.”

“I wish one of my personalities liked to clean.”

“My idea of a superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.” – Bette Midler

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller

“Walking into your room and saying, “I should clean this” then walking out.”

“Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.” – Mario Buatta

“I’ve always enjoyed doing dishes. Maybe it was the fashionable yellow gloves that I loved so much. It’s weird, I know, but I find cleaning cathartic.” – Rachel Nichols

“We dream of having a clean house — but who dreams of actually doing the cleaning?” – Marcus Buckingham

“My room isn’t messy, it’s an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.”

“Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids.”

“I have discovered the secret to a clean house: never let your children or husband enter it.”

“When I say I cleaned my room, I usually mean, I made a path from my door to my bed.”

“Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?” – Kathrine Whitehorn

“The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.”

“Ok… the bills are washed, the laundry is paid, clothes are in the oven and the last load of dinner is in the dryer. It looks like I got my to-do list finished!”

“I hate cleaning up around here. What’s the point? It’s gonna get dirty again.”

“Instead of cleaning the house, I just turn off the lights.”

“Cleaning is putting stuff in less obvious places.”

“Instead of cleaning the house, I just watch an episode of Hoarders and think “Wow, my house looks great!”” .

“Dear small line of dirt that won’t go into the dustpan… I hate you with every part of my soul.”

“Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.”

“Waiting for my kids to clean their rooms.”

“I’m going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze.”

“When your mom makes that face but doesn’t say anything, flee or clean something.”

“Someone sent me an email about using vodka for cleaning around the house. It worked! The more vodka I drank the cleaner the house looked!”

“First rule of house cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone.”

“Have you ever looked at the last few loads of laundry and considered just throwing them away?”

“I was going to clean my house… but then someone commented on my status.”

“Don’t worry, we won’t make a mess.”

“Both of us can’t look good at the same time… it’s me or the house.”

“My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up the room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.”

“Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.”

“You know what would make house cleaning way more fun? A maid.”

“Instead of organizing and cleaning my house I spend all day pinning about organizing and cleaning.”

“The dust bunnies killed my cleaning fairy.”

“I have so much housework. What movie should I watch?”

“I have trouble with four letter words, cook, wash, iron, dust.”

“I feel like I should clean the house, so I’m going to lay down and nap until the feeling passes.”

“The house was clean yesterday. We’re sorry you missed it.”

“I suffer from ADCD: attention deficit cleaning disorder. it’s where you start to clean one thing but get distracted by another thing that needs cleaning. That causes you to bounce from one job to another only to end up doing a lot of work with nothing to show for it.”

“Nothing inspires cleanliness more than an unexpected guest.” – Radhika Mundra

“When I want my house to look clean, I take off my glasses.”

“A husband is someone who, after emptying the bin, gives the impression he just cleaned the entire house.”

“You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.”

“Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.” – Marcelene Cox

“Last night I was dreamed my whole house was clean.”

“Just cleaned my whole house from top to bottom, so now I’m going to need everybody to stop living here.”

“I clean when I’m frustrated. So, if you show up unannounced and our house is clean… You might want to reconsider your visit.”

“Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.”

“Why can’t the house clean itself. It seems to get dirty by itself!”

“Be nice to your cleaning lady… She is the only one who knows which rag she washed your coffee mug and desk with.”

“You know that amazing feeling when you go to bed knowing your entire house is clean? Ya, neither do I.”